What You Need To Know About Pelvic Pain During Sex
Sexual intimacy is an important part of many of our lives. In a very real sense, it is the engine for how we bond with our partners. Sexual intimacy helps maintain the chemical balance of our bodies. During pleasurable sex, endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin rush through our system, bringing us pleasure, satisfaction, and a feeling of connectedness. Unfortunately, things aren’t always so picture-perfect—especially for women struggling with pelvic pain.
It’s thought that almost sixteen percent of all women experience pelvic pain at some point in their lives—and it can be distressing and traumatic for those that do. Because it is such a sensitive topic, it’s not unusual for women to go without treatment—either because they believe sex is by nature a painful activity, or because they feel embarrassed.
Often, getting a diagnosis for pelvic pain is an exercise in frustration. Because the causes can be both physical, psychological, or a layered mixture of the two, it can be difficult to get to the bottom of the issue. Whether the cause is physical or psychological, the imprint of pain during sex can leave us nervous and anxious between the sheets—even triggering a fight-or-flight response when things start to heat up.
What’s Behind Pelvic Pain?
Several medical issues can cause pelvic pain—even once healed or addressed, the memory of that pain can haunt you like a ghost. Our bodies have a keen memory, especially as it relates to pain. That memory of pain is a survival mechanism that helps us avoid unpleasant and dangerous experiences. While it means well, that survival mechanism keeps us from enjoying the pleasures we want from life.
Physical Causes
There are several physical conditions that can result in pelvic pain. Some of the most common causes of chronic pelvic pain include:
Vulvodynia - chronic pain around the vagina opening
Vulvar vestibulitis(VVS) - chronic pain or discomfort inside the inner lips of the vagina
Vaginismus - muscle tension when a tampon is inserted or during sex
Endometriosis - characterized by uterine tissue that grows in places it shouldn’t, resulting in extremely painful menstrual cycles, fertility issues, and pain during sex
Additionally, pelvic pain and discomfort can be caused by other issues. These issues could include:
Allergic reaction
Cysts
Hormone imbalance
Inflammation
Nerve injury
Skin conditions
Yeast infections
Hip or back injury
Child birth
Pelvic pain is a broad term that can include heightened sensitivity. Knowing which areas are most sensitive or affected can help point you in the right direction. As a result, it may be helpful to explore this privately in a safe space before seeking treatment. Get familiar with what triggers your pain so that you can feel comfortable talking about it with your doctor and therapist.
Psychological Causes
There are a wide variety of underlying psychological causes for pelvic pain, many of which relate to negative thoughts or feelings about sex, past sexual trauma, and anxiety. Most of us are raised with conflicting messages about sex and sexuality. Our culture is soaked in sexual imagery, but much of what we’re taught is that sex and sexuality are something to be ashamed of.
Many of us are not taught to advocate for ourselves during sex. We don’t get lessons on how to tell our partners what works or doesn’t work for us—and often our partners, feeling insecure, react very poorly to what they perceive as criticism. That is hardly a recipe for safety and comfort. Even one or two bad experiences can leave a major impression on our body’s deeper, instinctive memories, especially when a woman has experienced sexual abuse.
Treatment Options
One of the first steps to getting help with pelvic pain is to talk to your gynecologist about the symptoms you are experiencing. They can help you determine the next steps if a physical condition is present. Besides that, many people find it beneficial to practice self-care and relaxation techniques.
The power of counseling should not be overlooked. Pelvic dysfunction can impact a woman physically as well as emotionally. Working with a mental health therapist can help you process the trauma and emotional distress that pelvic pain and discomfort can cause.
Helping women overcome the difficulties posed by pelvic pain during sex is one of the areas that I specialize in. If you’re interested in getting help on this topic, reach out to schedule a consultation for Pelvic Floor Dysfunction Treatment. I can promise you a safe space and a wealth of background knowledge to help guide you in your healing process.
